Girl Power!

Last night My Beloved saw a mouse. As the kids and I were out of town he went to the hardware store down the block and bought everything they had, no mouse was going to share an address with the Malloy family!
No school today for Little Monica, so we ran some errands, Costco, the library then home. Walking into the kitchen with an armload of goods I heard a SNAP! I thought for sure one of the 10 mousetraps set by My Beloved had gone off mistakenly. So I look under the sink and it was not a mistake. I quickly slammed the cupboard door and started to quietly whimper, when I realized I had no audience for the squeamish damsel in distress act I felt a little stupid and stopped whimpering. My decision was made, I would leave the dead mouse in the trap for My Beloved to deal with when he got home.
I began to move on with my day when my mom called, I told her the plan with the mouse and instead of supportive and understanding she said "Isn't Little Monica home with you today?" I said she was, which unleashed in my mother all the girl power opinions I've never heard from her before. Her primary concern had nothing to do with the dead mouse under my kitchen sink, it was the lessons I had clearly missed growing up. What kind of an example was I being for my daughter? Hadn't she taught me independence, self-reliance? That girls can do anything boys can? That women don't need to wait for a man to handle the dirty work? (For the record I am ok with waiting!)
After realizing the importance of the lesson for Little Monica and that this was somehow reflective on my mother's parenting of me, and knowing I was made of tougher stuff, I knew what the right answer was. I was going to have to clean up the icky mouse myself and look like a brave, strong woman doing it. Yeah.
So I made Little Monica get me some rubber gloves from the toy doctor kit and hold the bag open for me to put the mouse carcass in. I proceeded to find the grill tongs, now largely labeled "MOUSE TONGS" on one side and "NOT FOR FOOD" on the other. I was not touching that mouse or mouse trap. No way. I pulled my hair back, put on the itty bitty rubber gloves all the while wishing I had a clean suit (you know, full body suit with helmet and a clear, little square to look out of), covered my face with a paper towel and reached into the cupboard with the long arm of the tong and picked up the mousetrap with mouse attached and gently placed it in the bag my daughter was holding open. We then put it into a larger garage bag, and put it outside in the garbage. After allowing Little M to put the mouse carcass into the garbage, she came back in the house and proudly said
"We sure took care of that Mom! Girls Rule!"
Not sure who learned the bigger lesson today. Probably me.

That's It!

When I was in high school the school began requiring notes from the doctor or dentist when a student was going to be out of school for an appointment. I would never describe my mom as someone who is a rule breaker, but the idea that the school didn't trust a note from her, and required documentation from a doctor really ticked her off. I recall a note she wrote to the school saying I would be leaving school midday for a dental appointment and the note went something like this:

"Sheridan will be leaving school at 11am today for a dental appointment and THAT'S IT!"

At the time I thought little of it, but somehow the "THAT'S IT!" part of the note really strikes a chord with me today. It's a simple way to say, I don't want your opinion on the topic, I have made the final ruling, there will be no further discussion.

Dinner tonight is chicken pot pie, and THAT'S IT!
If your laundry isn't in the laundry basket it won't get washed, THAT'S IT!
Bedtime is 7:30, THAT'S IT!
No, I don't feel like cuddling tonight and THAT'S IT!
Yes, you need to pick up (insert child name) from (insert activity) and THAT'S IT!

Today I used these magical word when calling our health insurance company regarding hearing aid coverage for children, which no one seems to know about. When the nice lady offered to look into it and "get back to me real soon," I responded sweetly "That would be great, I expect to hear from you today though, and THAT'S IT!" It worked, she called me back 30 minutes later with loads of information. I firmly believe my "THAT'S IT!" made all the difference.

I recommend you practice different tones when you say these power packed words, play a little with volume and force and even tone, and be careful not to abuse them thus diminishing their effectiveness.

If you have some "magic" words that work for you, post comments and tell me what they are.

Leftovers

Today is our 9th wedding anniversary. While I have spent a large portion of my day thinking about my hard-working honey and our blissful 9+ years together, I have also been thinking about an important person missing from my life.
I was 11 years old when my Grandma Rita had a heart attack and died. She was just 56 years old and heart disease was known about but certainly not as marketed as well as it is these days. Some days I find myself wishing she would have been able to meet my husband, I know in my heart they would have been kindred spirits. I wonder what parenting advice she would have given me, and I think that she would have helped my mom relax a little more, but truly I don't know.
The Grandma Rita I remember is from a child's perspective. I know she was a woman who raised her kids in the tumultuous times of the 60's and 70's, and she certainly didn't have the marriage I do today. She gave birth to 7 children within 9 or so years and as far as I know she never had a nervous breakdown. She had a huge house to keep clean and didn't have McDonald's or Domino's to deliver dinner, and she didn't have the luxury of a dishwasher to clean up all those dishes.
Despite not having the things that I so take for granted, my memories of her and her sunny disposition are amazing. She let me wear lipstick, she never left the house without a little dab or two, and she always had a pie ready to eat on the table and cookies in an ice cream pail on top of the fridge. She was always ready with a hug, and would let me play beauty salon with her for hours, never complaining, I wonder how many times she realized she had a curler stuck in the back of her hair long after I'd gone home.
So 20 years after my Grandma Rita's too soon death, I am thinking of her, imagining how much she would love my children and my hilarious husband. Wondering if she'd be the kind of Grandma that had a cell phone or email. Wondering what advice she would give me about my children, or if she would make them pajamas with nightcaps for Christmas like the girls on Little House on the Prairie (her favorite TV show, after Cheers). I wonder how different my mom would be, if she hadn't lost her mother so near the age I am now.
After all that wondering, here is what I do know, I know that even 20 years after she last hugged me, I feel her arms around me in every move I make. I know that she would be proud of the woman I am today, her legacy lives on in me, a strong woman with a great sense of humor. I also know I need to take better care of my heart and body so I don't take after her with an early death and that I should try to wear more lipstick.

Broccoli Cheese Soup

Sometimes I think I can hear a little cash register ringing in my head. I think my husband can hear it on occasion as well, which may mean we are both insane.
When I first had kids I thought that babies were expensive. Now I know better. Currently our cheapest child his our little H (only 20 mos.). He eats, he poops, occasionally we bathe him. Beyond diapers, the financial output required to keep him at the standard of living he requires is minimal. I would also venture to say he is the best dressed of all of us (thanks to my mom's neighbor lady's garage sales!) So what am I talking about you ask?
Our oldest daughter is blessed with some serious gymnastics skill, she started gymnastics last spring and has quickly moved up to an elite, pre-competitive team. She is so excited about this I can only smile when I think of the small car payment we are going to begin paying for her to keep up her passion.
She will be making her First Communion this year, is Sunday school free? No way!Plus we have to pay 2 sacrament fees. One for First Communion, and one for First Reconciliation. We're talking in the neighborhood of $200 not including the cute First Communion dress and party in the spring.
Our middle daughter, just like her sister HAS to go to Sunday school, also not free. N also takes dance lessons which is no cheap deal either. Lessons, plus costumes, plus tickets to the recital. Not to mention the time suckage when I spend Monday nights, Tuesday and Thursday nights, Saturday AM's all watching my children doing what they love. Not including the monthly Wednesday's for Family Faith at church.
So why do I do it? Because my mom did it, because my mother-in-law did it. To keep my kids off drugs, off the streets, out of trouble, to help them build confidence.
I may not get a thanks tonight when I spend 2-1/2 hours watching gymnastics practice, or tomorrow when I am filling out the forms for book orders (ka-ching). It may be years before I get so much as acknowledgement from them for the time and $$$ spent, but it's worth it. Today I look at my parents and my in-laws and think about what they gave up or the budgeting they did and the volunteer hours they put in so my husband and I were always ready for our meets, be they track (me) or wrestling and football (R).
It was worth it, we are better people for it, and despite the dollar signs I often see in my husbands eyes, or the new winter coat I may not buy this year (no worries, I have several) so we can afford gymnastics and religion classes, and birthday parties.
So today remember to say thanks to your parents and in-laws and try to have a lighter heart when you have to run back in the house for the water bottle your child forgot. It'll pay off in the end, we hope.

I feel like chicken tonight

We are renters. Renters. Makes me feel like some sort of second-class unworthy sort. I feel the need to explain to everyone that we are renting, why we are renting and that we are not big losers that make poor financial decisions. I actually think our choosing to rent is a good financial decsion, except I still explain it as though I need to convince others, and myself that we are worthy. Worthy of what? Not a clue.
So why are we renting, not buying in this time of great housing prices and the "buyer's market" out there? Well in the interest of true transparency we were losers that made poor financial decisions at one point, sadly we were like many others out there who are a paycheck away from financial ruin and that are really scared about their futures. We are not those people anymore. We have owned 2 homes and done a pretty significant amount of work on both. When we sold our last house it was at the end of the housing boom and we lost our butts on that sale, but saved our marriage. We knew when we sold that house we needed a break from house projects and wanted to enjoy our family without the constant pressure of painting, landscaping, replacing, you name it. Someday I'll tell you about our last house...
So we decided to get our financial house in order and get rid of our student loan debt, old credit card debt, and not dump money into a house right now. We became avid fans of Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, and are working so we can have not only financial peace now and in the future but have our money to save and give and share in the future.
I want to buy a house, today, but I realize that to buy a house today we wouldn't be buying the house we want, we would be buying a house to have a house, which is what I think got so many people in the foreclosure crisis our economy is in today. The house we can afford and the house I want are not the same house and I would be forced to compromise on a lot of things. So instead I am making the choice to wait, doing my best to silence the "Gotta Have It's" that have made so many problems for others with easy credit and crazy mortgages. My mom always says we are the "microwave generation" and no one can wait for anything. I don't think she realizes how widespread that is. So many people today have to have what it took their parents 30 years to save for, does anyone else see a problem with that?
Thus, I am a renter, and we are renting a lovely home that is a little small, but has a big yard and lots of character. We are saving a lot of money on rent, and our landlord isn't making out too badly either, we take care of this home as if it were our own. We will continue to rent until financially and emotionally our home is a blessing, not a burden.