Thursday, October 29, 2009

Maybe Lasagna??

Friendship is strange when you get older. Now that I am in my 30's making friends is harder, and keeping friends is even more difficult. Old friendships get harder and harder to maintain, especially when common ground starts slipping away. New friendships are like some sort of weird dating, with a lot of stops and starts and second guessing. We've moved a few times in the past years, so I've been thrust into a lot of new situations and I've had some luck making really cool friends, and then I've met some real duds (you're all wondering aren't you?).
Some of the hardest parts of friendship for me have been making anhd then moving away from an amazing soul-mate sort of best friend on the east coast. It's been a struggle to give that friendship the attention it deserves because I get so wrapped up in mothering and living life 1500 miles away, that even with technology surrounding me, reaching out is more than I can do sometimes.
College friendships are a challenge to maintain as well, my dearest college friend and I took very different paths upon leaving college. That alone has has made us into very different people, (she camps and runs marathons, Aughhh!) but despite all of that, when we were staying at the Ronald McDonald house and our middle daughter was in the NICU I didn't hesitate to call my old college roomie while pumping breast milk at 6am. The best part, she answered. Do I talk to her everyday, week, month? Nope, but remembering our brightest moments have gotten me through some of my worst times.
New friends, with our most recent and foreseeably (is that a word?) permanent move, I have met some AMAZING women, some older than me, some younger, but the great equalizer is having school age kids. It staggers me sometimes to think I am going to have these people in my life for the next 18-20 years and I hope they don't age better than me. I sometimes wonder what the next friendship move, do I call them to chat, or does that seem overeager, do I tell them about the baggage I carry? Maybe not, it's still pretty early, and we've got 20 years, I hope.
Through it all I've had the blessing of shared experience with my best friend of all, someone who has seen me at my worst, and I mean absolute worst, and helped me to be my best. If you want to know what the best part about being married is, I would tell you it's when you get to have a permanent sleepover with your best friend. Despite any disagreements, annoying habits, and excessive sports watching, even when I go to the grocery store I get a little flip in my stomach knowing I'll be coming home to him. So despite all the stops and starts and the awkwardness of new friendships, or the bittersweet feelings about old friends, having a husband for a best friend makes it all ok. Especially when you see the hunk I have at home. Hubba, hubba.

1 comment:

Kim T. said...

You're right. . .Rory is a big hunk! And for the record, I miss you terribly (from out here on the east coast). And although we don't talk or write every day, not a day goes by that I don't think about my good friend Sheridan or the Malloy family--or that game night when I seriously peed my pants from laughing so hard (that's what you get for carrying twins full term)! I miss you sweet girl!